More about the opposite gender.... Dating vs. Hanging Out

This week we talked about hanging out vs. dating.  It's becoming more and more prominent for young adults and teenagers to hang out more than to date.  In one of the, in-class discussions we had this week, it was mentioned that it is possible that the main reason that students here at BYU-Idaho hang out instead of date is commitment.  A majority of girls at BYU-I don't want to start dating pre-missionary boys because they are going on a  mission soon and won't be back for two years. Some girls are afraid to date boys right after they get off their missions because they "are now looking for a wife".  Some of the girls aren't ready for that big of  commitment.

In an article I read for class it encourages going on dates to get to know others,  not necessarily to "find the one".  I believe that if you do this you will find what type of guy or girl you are looking for and "find the one" when you are ready. It says in the article, if the girls let the guys know they are not interested in a serious relationship right away dating is less intimidating!

What is the difference between hanging out and dating you may ask?  My teacher told us that the three p's to   dating are 1. paired off, 2. planned and 3. paid for. If those three p's are not involved it is probably hanging out.  These three p's of dating match up to the three p's of a husbands role to 1.protect, 2. preside, 3. provide.  Paring off matches up with protect, planned matches up to preside, and paid for matches up with provide.  The women's part in all of this is to nurture.  The woman can help ensure or nurture these roles the men have. When these roles of pairing off, planned and paid for in dating are fulfilled and the woman plays her role in nurturing, it can actually help prepare you for marriage.  Who knew?

If you want to get to know the opposite gender better (on individual basis ;) ) and or are looking for a marriage partner, I believe  that dating is the ultimate choice instead of hanging out!!

Dinosaurs and Tu Tu's

Boys are Different Than Girls

"We badly need to raise our boys more like our girls." G. Steinham

Whaat?? ….This quote was put up on the board this week in class.  I believe this quote to be very UNTRUE!  Boys and girls are built differently and it was meant to be that way.

 I learned in class that males have tendencies to be more aggressive, be task oriented and also spatially oriented.  Males also have more segmented brains meaning, they think about one thing at a time. Females have different tendencies than males.  Some of female’s tendencies are more compassion and sensitivity, they are more relationship oriented and they are more likely to have a connected brain meaning they link events together. 

There are male tendencies and also female tendencies but this doesn’t mean that every male is very aggressive and every female is very sensitive.  Sensitivity is just most common among females and aggression among males.  These different tendencies play a part in the gender roles that a man and a woman have.  Males typically play a role in the family as to provide, protect, and provide while females typically play a role to nurture, cook and care for the children.  

Does that mean boys should never play with dolls or like the color pink? Even when they are little? Not necessarily.  When boys are little they explore.  They may have sisters that play with dolls and they might join in.  This is not a concern of mine. In my opinion if they play with dolls when they are little, that doesn’t mean they will grow up and become more feminine or less manly. They probably will grow out of it. This does not however mean I will give my child a Barbie for Christmas if he doesn’t ask for it.  If he wants to play with dolls, that’s fine but I will not try and persuade him to play with girl things if he is not interested. 

The discussion we had this week about gender roles was very fascinating.  We each have a role or a part to play in society and in the family.  What is yours?

The Human Race... Ready, Set, Go

In class this week we learned about tolerance and truth.  We should be tolerant of other people and their beliefs, values, cultures and personalities.  Everyone may not believe what we do, or be the same as us, but that does not mean we can't tolerate or respect others values.  We can learn something from just about any culture.  Incorporating aspects from other cultures into our lives may enhance our life experiences and give us different views of our surroundings.

 Being tolerant to other cultures does not, however, mean to be numb to other cultures.  There are bad things to every culture as well. We need to seek truth and research what is uplifting and right.

There are some cultures that may have no truth or good in it such as, the "serial killer" culture.  This "serial killer" culture is something to avoid.  We must tolerate other cultures but first of all seek truth and use careful judgement that we do not become numb to evil things.  We must seek truth for ourselves.  If we are not sure if it is true or not, it is not smart to always rely on other people.  You should research it for yourself if it is true, and if be your belief, pray to find out if it is right.

 As people, we are all equal, no matter what race we are, what religion we practice, or what economic status we are.  After all, as someone in my class said this week,  "There is only one race. The human race!!!"  There is actually a really good children's book called, " Is There Really a Human Race?" by Jamie Lee Curtis and Laura Cornell.  It is a children's book but I think it is a good read for anyone!! It has a really good message! Go check it out!! (:

Thanks for reading my blog!! Feel free to comment!! Don't forget there is a new post every week! :)

Symbols ?!.,*

This week in class we have been learning about a thing called symbolic systems theory.  This theory is explaining how people have different says or “symbols” that they interact with.  For example it is common for people in parts of Europe to greet each other with kisses on the cheek.  If someone from Europe started kissing someone’s cheek in America they could be taken aback.  Symbolic systems theory can be seen differently in individual families as well.  Some families have an unwritten “rule” that everybody sits in the same place at the dinner table.  If someone sits in the wrong spot then who usually sits there might get upset.  Some other unwritten family “rules” from my own family are.

1) If you want a sweet or a treat, go with dad to the store.  He will buy you one.

2) Don’t say can’t around dad.  He will not let you get away with it and bug you tell you tell him,     “I can do it!’

3) If mom isn’t happy, no one is happy.

4)  If you need help with crafty projects, ask mom to help you! She will know what to do.

Those are just a few of our unwritten “rules” and some ways our family uses the symbolic systems theory!  What are some of your family’s unwritten rules or how have you been a part of the symbolic systems theory?

What does family mean to you?

  Just as a little side note.  I will be writing several posts on this blog that tie in to this course I am taking called Family Relations. (FAML 160).   This course is a study of the family and it's interaction, relationship with the environment, family issues and also family roles.

What does family meant to you?  Family may be viewed differently from person to person.  I will tell you what family means to me. Family means EVERYTHING to me. I am so grateful for my family who have always been my constant companions. I grew up with a loving mother, and father and brothers who have always been my side, especially when I needed them the most.  My family have raised me to develop a sense of right and wrong and have always been great examples! They have taught me how to exceed and excel and do my very best!

Today, the world's view of family is constantly changing. In a class similar to this one called, Family and Community Relations, I was reading in my textbook and it said, "The classic (structural-functional) definition of a family, according to sociologist George Murdock, is ‘ a social group characterized by common residence, economic cooperation, and reproduction.  It includes adults of both sexes, at least two of whom maintain a socially approved sexual relationship, and one or more children (biological or adopted) of the sexually cohabiting adults.’….  Today, relationships that do not conform to Murdock’s definition are more common than those that do…” (Berns, 2008, p 77)

How true that is.  The world's definition of family seems to be constantly changing! In FAML 160 this past week we have been learning about the different trends today that are associated with Family.  Some of those trends include, an increase of employed mothers, Household number is decreasing, cohabitation is increasing, living alone is increasing, people are marrying later and the population rate is declining.

I wouldn't trade the structure of my family, the roles that were played  and the Love that was felt in my family for anything else.  I hope to take after my parents example and have a family of my own someday.  

Thanks for reading my blog!!!! Feel free to leave any comments and stay posted for weekly updates!!  :) 
     

Trying to figure this blog thing out! Here it goes!!

Hi my name is Alyssa. I am doing this blog for Family Relations.  I will update it weekly and post about family, things that inspire me and many other things.