~Inspiration from Family 160~
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Working together as a family.
I have a strong belief that families should work together in the home. Whether you are outside doing yard work or inside doing daily chores, a family that works side by side bond. Parents should teach their children to learn to work because it is the whole family's responsibility. We all live in the house, use the materials in the house and all make messes, so we should all work together to make it clean. When I was younger my parents expected me to get my chores done before I went to play with my friends. Growing up my family has always planted a garden. I really enjoyed planting the vegetable plants together and really felt connected as a family. It was fun to pick them out of the garden with my brother and help cut them up for dinner. I felt like a part of something when I helped grow, pick and cut the family meal. Working as a family is a very important aspect in a family. You learn responsibility but it is also a time to bond as a family.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Parenting
A child watches everything you do! Be sure to be an example!!
(If you don't have time to read this whole post.. at least watch the video at the end! (: It's worth
watching!!)
So this week we've been learning
more about parenting and I realized, in order to be effective parents you must
work together as a couple. This may mean
sitting down together each week as a couple and talking about ways you can
improve together when it comes to child rearing and also being sure all of the
children’s needs are being met. There
are five needs that every person has.
These needs are, 1) Contact and belonging, 2) Power 3) withdrawal 4) Protection and 5). Challenge. Consider what things you are doing to meet
these needs . If all of these basic needs are being met for the children, then
consider the individual needs the children might have. But along with getting with your spouse and
talking about how you can best help the children, you should make sure that
your marriage is being strengthened and that your spouse is getting all of
their needs met. If your marriage is
deteriorating and isn’t very strong, it effects the way that you parent. Let your spouse and your children know that
you appreciate them. Tell them why you
love them.
In other classes I have been
learning how much a divorce can and children living with blended families can really
have a negative effect on children. They
do not do as well in school when this is going on. It has been researched that it is known that
divorce can have more of a negative effect on a child than a parent’s
death. That is quite an effect that
divorce can have. I repeat, it is very,
very important that you strengthen your family so that your children can have
the best family and home environment possible.
Parenting can be a lot better when your marriage is stable. It is such much better to do it right the
first time. And if for some reason, it
doesn’t happen to go right the first time and you do happen to get a divorce,
it is not the end. Sometimes circumstances don’t permit things to go the way
you want. In this case still parent your
children the best that you can and give your children as much of you as you
can.
Parenting is very important. Children and family really do matter. Do not take these matters lightly. Your children and your family deserve the
best! Make sure to give them your time
and your effort, even if you feel you don’t have either. While you are becoming closer to them and
helping them, they will help you too and make a difference in your life!
I've been wanting to share this
video! Hopefully it applies! It is a great example of how to sacrifice for your
spouse and also how to keep your relationship strong!
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Padre, Papa, Father, Dad
A father can have a big role in the family and rearing their children
We've been talking about fathers in class and were also assigned to write a paper on fathers. While doing the research for my paper, I've been learning alot!! Did you know that father interaction can greatly help their children with their social-emotional, language and intellectual development? On the website, parentsasteachers.org I learned a father can help a child with all of these things.
When it comes to social-emotional development, when a child's emotional responses are acknowledged by their father, and their father helps them address it with a problem-solving approach, the children score higher on emotional intelligence tests.
Father's are a big influence on children's language development. They are more likely than mothers to speak in ways that teach their children about social communication exchanges and challenge their child's developing language abilities.
Fathers help their children with their intellectual development. Fathers are more likely to expand their child's creative horizons and find new and unexpected ways to play with familiar toys.
I am really grateful for my own father in my life! He has interacted with me and worked really hard to have a close relationship with me throughout my life. He has been an example to me in many many ways and a friend when I needed one. He has always taken time out of his own day to play games with me and help me learn and grow! Some people don't have fathers in their lives. Father like figures can play that role and be beneficial as well. Home teachers and priesthood leaders can often play that role and are there when you need them!
We've been talking about fathers in class and were also assigned to write a paper on fathers. While doing the research for my paper, I've been learning alot!! Did you know that father interaction can greatly help their children with their social-emotional, language and intellectual development? On the website, parentsasteachers.org I learned a father can help a child with all of these things.
When it comes to social-emotional development, when a child's emotional responses are acknowledged by their father, and their father helps them address it with a problem-solving approach, the children score higher on emotional intelligence tests.
Father's are a big influence on children's language development. They are more likely than mothers to speak in ways that teach their children about social communication exchanges and challenge their child's developing language abilities.
Fathers help their children with their intellectual development. Fathers are more likely to expand their child's creative horizons and find new and unexpected ways to play with familiar toys.
I am really grateful for my own father in my life! He has interacted with me and worked really hard to have a close relationship with me throughout my life. He has been an example to me in many many ways and a friend when I needed one. He has always taken time out of his own day to play games with me and help me learn and grow! Some people don't have fathers in their lives. Father like figures can play that role and be beneficial as well. Home teachers and priesthood leaders can often play that role and are there when you need them!
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Actions speak louder than words!
It is easy for our different
forms of communication, words, tone, and non verbal communication to not match
up.
There is a saying that says, “Actions speak louder
than words.” How very true this is! When
we talk about the kinds of communication that we as human beings use, it is
reported that 15% of our communication is words, 35% is tone and 51% is through
non-verbal. A majority of our
communication is through non-verbal actions. It is no wonder that we can easily get
confused or have misunderstandings through texting. Not only can you not hear the other persons
tone but also, you cannot see their non-verbal actions when you are reading
texts.
Sarcasm is another way where miscommunication
can come into play. When one is
sarcastic, one usually changes the tone in the voice. If you don’t know the person very well, whom
is being sarcastic, you may think they are being rude and it is very easy to
get offended. One must be very careful
when being sarcastic. There may be truth
in every sarcastic remark. It may be fun
and games sometimes but you need to pay attention to when you are using sarcasm,
who your audience is and if it clear that you are using sarcasm.
It may be hard for others to
understand people who are speech impaired or mute. They are lacking in the, words, area of
communication but you also can’t hear their intended tone, or it may be hard to
hear it. If we have friends, peers, or acquaintances
that are speech impaired, we should go the extra mile and do our best to learn
to understand and communicate with them.
This may mean learning sign language.
If we
are not speech impaired, we should try all we can to try and match up all our
areas of communication and be sure that they complement each other rather than contradict
each other. These forms of communication I am talking about are our, words,
tone and non-verbal communication like mentioned earlier. It can be very confusing when someone’s
non-verbal communication says one thing but their words and tone says something
else. This can become very frustrating
and may appear that they are not being truthful (whether they are or not). If the areas of your communication don’t always
match up, focus on the area that needs improving and constantly work to improve
it.
Thanks for reading my blog!! :) Feel free to comment! :)
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Coping With Crises
A crisis can strengthen or bind a family together but
only if one knows how to cope or handle the crisis correctly.
In order for one to properly cope or become stronger from a
crisis one must believe in one self. I
crisis can attack your self esteem. If you
believe in yourself when I crisis arises it will help you be able to handle it
and after the crisis your self-esteem may even strengthen because you were put
through a hard time and made it through.
A crisis may result in self-absorption. When you
are self-absorbed it is hard to think of others outside of yourself. When you are self-absorbed it is hard to
think or help others who may be in need.
One thing you can do to help yourself not be self-absorbed, is to grief
with others who may be experiencing the same thing as you. Make the extra effort to balance both others
and yourself.
When you are in a crisis it is easy to see what is in front
of you. It is easy to focus on the here
and now. This kind of thinking can get
you in trouble. One thing that is really
helpful in crisis is to reframe or to look at the situation in a different
perspective.
Although crisis seems like a terrible word, it can bind
families together!!!
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Marital intimacy and avoiding infidility
This week in class we have been
discussing marital intimacy and infidelity.
Sexual intimacy is very important within the marriage. Sexual intimacy is
a very sacred thing; this is why it should be kept within the bonds of
marriage. Sexual intimacy within the
bonds of marriage is very sacred but not necessarily secret, it is just
sacred. We should treat sacred things
with great respect and not talk about them lightly! Sacred things are to stay and be talked about
in certain settings.
Infidelity is another topic that
has been discussed this week in class.
Poor marital intimacy is one reason that can lead to infidelity but it
isn’t the only reason and it does not always lead to infidelity. If a spouse develops a simple friendship with
a member of the opposite sex, if they are not careful it can lead to something
more. We learned this week that when you
are married, the only time you really should be talking to a friend of the
opposite sex is for school or for work.
If a spouse confides in a friend in an opposite sex, and their feelings
are validated and listened to, I know it may sound crazy but there is a big
risk of them falling in love with the friend because they validated their
feelings. Even Facebook can be dangerous. Avoid having any private
conversations with a member of the opposite sex even through Facebook. Sometimes couples feel more comfortable to
conjoin their Facebooks when they are married and each one can clearly see the
other spouse’s activity.
One thing we read about for our
reading for class was about stage coaches. I believe it is by President Lee. There were people applying for the job of being a stage coach driver.
One drove on the very edge trying to impress the employer. Another stage coach driver drove as far away
from the edge as he could. The one who
got the job was the one that stayed far away from the edge. The one who got the
job was the one that stayed the farthest away from the edge. He was the safest. We should live our lives like this. We should not try to see how close to the
edge as we can but instead, star as far away as we can from the edge and find
the safest way.
What are some ways to stay away
from the edge, stay away from infidelity and keep our marital intimacy
strong? We must communicate with our
spouse. Communication is very important
in a marriage. We need to have a family council at least once a week and talk
about important things that could be worked on. We must set our boundaries with others outside
of our spouse and talk to each other what the boundaries should be and make an
agreement. Marriage and marital intimacy
is an amazing thing! It does however take time, effort, teamwork and a lot of
communication
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Mawaige is what bwings us togeva today.
This week's topic was marriage and weddings! Woot woot. This week I am just going to write some points that are not necessarily connected but I really thought were interesting. I learned all of these in class this week! Here they are:
- Three things you need to get to know each other when dating and figuring out if you found the right one.
- Time 2. Togetherness 3. Talk
These things are also known as the "Know Quo" . When I say togetherness my teacher mentioned engage in a variety of activities. Do not limit yourselves to movies all of the time. Find other ways to get to know each other such as do service together or do outdoor activities! You get to know the other person's character so well through service.
- Research shows that you don't begin to know someone til at least the first three months. This was really interesting to me! One thing that I really enjoy is that you find out something new about a friend or a significant other everyday!
- You need to know someone more than you trust them. We should not rely on anyone anymore than we trust them. You should not commit to someone anymore than you rely on them. Your touch level should not be any higher than your commitment.- R.A.M. model (Relationship Attachment model by John Vanep
- If you are getting marred in the temple focus more on your sealing than on your reception. In any case whether you get married in the temple or not, believe the focus should be emphasized on the marriage more than the wedding!
These are just some of the many great things I have learned this week!! Marriage is a wonderful thing if you put all your time and effort into making it strong and filled with joy!!!
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